The Monster Came Out Again Saturday In Public

Sir and I went to the flog that we have not been to for awhile, so Sir wanted to make sure that we got time to play there because we live in the apartment. He did not know how loud we were going to get, so he brought his paddles, canes, belts, and 1 of his new toys he made from a messed up belt, which hurts like a bitch.

We wait for awhile because there was a person doing fire play and Sir wanted us to use what that guy was using, so we waited for at least 45 mins I think. What Sir wanted me to use was a St. Andrews Cross, so when the guy was done we went up I got undress, but you still have to wear underwear there a bra, or pasties, which I wore pasties because you can not be  nude.

Are right let me get back to what happen that night, after I got dressed I went up to the cross I was like telling myself you are in for it now and I wanted to make sure that I went into subspace, also.

Sir the whispered in my ear little one I am not going to be easy on you tonight and he growled into my ear I just shivered and started to slowly go into my subspace i like to be in. Sir start with his hand smack I felt a blow to my ass I jumped a little then another came but even harder.

After the warm up I had he went to started on the paddle another hit on my ass and it was not soft it was hard I jumped again and took a breath with lust in my eyes I wanted more. When he was done with the paddles the canes came out, which I knew I was going to really need to hold on because it was going to hurt. Smack he hit me with the first blow I moaned and moved. Sir growled in my ear again and said you did not think the monster would come out in public I nodded and then he started with his handy work again.

While he whispered in my ear he pulled my hair, so he could look into my eyes because he loves looking in my ass when he hurts me because my eyes get really glassy from suspace. Another blow on my ass with the cane i did not count how many with the first cane.

Sir got the secone cane out,which hurts more and I made sure to be ready for this one and held on tight for the ride like a roller coaster. Smack another hard hit and another big moan he got out of me I shivered yet again wanting and waiting for another blow to my abused ass already. Then he got the belt and jingle it into my ears to make sure I knew what was coming next. I peaked with every blow that hit my ass and saw how hard Sir was slamming it into my ass it hit my ass, so hard I put my leg up. Sir told me I do not want you to put that leg up i tried my hardest but man  it hurt, when I did it again he smacked my leg with it and said what did I tell you.

After the belt he went back to the cane for a few strokes and then he got his new toy he made out I knew this one was going to hurt again i got ready for the blows on my ass that was on firer. He slammed it hard again after another i moaned with every blow, then he got his belt out again. He was using most of them like he was swinging a baseball bat i saw his shadow on the wall i just even now shiver just thinking about.

After a few more hits he asked me do you need more I said Sir it is up to you, but I asked you do you need more I then thought awhile did i really want more and I nodded to him. Sir then laid into me again feeling the belt bite  my ass hard watching every swing from his shadow.

Sir then told me 2 more and they were very hard that I moaned and put my leg up feeling again every bite on my ass.

Sir helped me get down and had me sit down i was deep in my suspace and could hardly dress me and move because i was, so high from the subspace. Sir and I left and went to a bar I wanted to get relaxed when we had sex, so we had a few drinks.

After the bar we went home and took a shower but I was still floating and a little drunk ok maybe a lot, so I hurried up and asked Sir if I could get out Sir said yes and told me to use  my wand without cumming while he took his shower I whimpered and said yes Sir.

I used my wand until he was done and then he came out I begged to cum he said not yet little one I moaned and whimpered again. Sir then took the wand from me and got inside me I was ready I wanted to come, but he told me I  had to beg I could not even come while being beat about an hour before.

Sir fucked me hard with no mercy my eyes looking in his pleading to come he just ignored my pleads and kept thrusting hard inside me I begged still it was a no I just waited with my eyes pleading Then Sir grabbed my throat for a few seconds and said cum for me little one I came hard for him. He smiled at me and kept fucking me hard over and over again my eyes pleading.

A few more mins went by and he let me cum a few more times i squirted a few times for him and he was very happy and pleased he kissed me and said I love you. I looked into his eyes and told him the same and then he helped me drink water. Even though the monster comes out of him every now and then the monster his caring after we play.

Sir I love you very much thank you for a night I needed and not being easy on me.

Published in:  on September 30, 2009 at 1:09 pm Comments (1)
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Monday Night

Well Sept.21 I took Sirs collar 2 years ago I can not believe it has been that long and then time went by pretty fast. I have grown a lot and have felt that we have gotten closer in having Sir take control of some of things in my life to better myself.

At first it was hard to let him and trust him because I was not used to giving it to him, so there was punishment to help me get through not trusting and just not doing the rules he wanted me to do. After while it did not take to long to give him that trust that I needed to give him, also he has made me do things I did not like but he wanted me to do them and try different things. He has told me it means more to him if i do not want to do something and I do it anyway that I submit to what he wants me to do and yes he has pushed me out of my confort zone, which was hard for me.

He does take good care of me and I do feel his love one of the things I love about him is he comes to my work and gives me a kiss before he goes to his work when he has to work and I work the overnights. Everday he tells me how much he loves me and he is great to me.

Sir I love you thank you for caring for me, loving me, also letting me submit to you when I asked you if we could do this. We have both grown together and have had to be patient with one another. You are the best husband to me and I hope we have more years that I can submit to you.

Published in:  on September 25, 2009 at 1:13 pm Comments (1)

Another Talk

Well Sir and i had another talk and we have decided to adjust one of my rules about blogging I asked if I could blog once a week for awhile and I wanted to blog more than once a week instead of 3 times a week because working and everthing thing else is getting to be to much mostly cause I am not getting enough sleep. I have not been able to see Sir very much and only can sleep with him twice a week.

I try to be happy as I can but it is just not happening right now and I feel bad I am very emotional and sometimes I hate emotions because you might not know what you are feeling or why you are feeling the way you do.

Sir is being very supported and understanding that is why I love him so much ansd he is a very caring Dom to me and takes good care of me.

I do not know if this blog maked much sense because I just got off work and it is hard to think what I am trying to say.

I do thank everyone that comes and visits my blog and I hope everyone will be patient for awhile.

Another time this week I will prolly blog because Sir and I had a great time on my days off last week. Well i am going to get sleep now I hope everyone has a great day.

Published in:  on September 14, 2009 at 6:07 am Comments (2)

Death

Well today is the anniversary for 7 years that my mom died she was very young only 54 and I just can not believe that it has been that long since she died. She had a lot of health problems a lot of it was with her heart and she also smoked, which doctors told her she needed to quit or she would die. She just could not quit smoking she smoked for over 30 years.

What she had was a heart attack and she fell face down on the street someone found her and started to do CPR until the paramedics they were able to get her to come back but she was under for 17 mins, so she had a lot of brain damage.

I found out 2 days later she had no brain waves and the suggested I take her off life support , which is one of the things that was the hardest thing to do in my all life.

She stayed alive another 2 months, which I think was crazy she lasted that long without brain waves. I thought maybe since i was not ready for her to die she stayed alive until I was ready to let her go.

The years have gotten a little easier and there might be years it will be hard again and we had such a bond since I was born. I loved her very much I also missed about 8 years of my life without her because my parents got a divorce and she lost custody of when I was 6 years i was suppose to live with her full time for 3 years something happen that she lost me.

That was part of it that made her go down hill and start smoking, drinking, and doing drugs because she said she had a nervous break down and then it started showing she had mental problems.

The years I missed with her were very hard and my dad remarried again but I could never bond with my stepmom and missed my mom very much with the years we missed.

Well this is a sad post I know but I just miss her dearly.

Published in:  on September 1, 2009 at 1:35 pm Comments (1)